Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Tip For Beating Eggs

Made a little bit of an accidental discovery last night.  I didn't have any clean bowls, so I broke the eggs into a mug, and then grabbed the whisk, and beat the eggs in the mug.  In the mug, the yolks can't squish out of the way of the whisk.  It actually works a lot better this way.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Movie Mini Review: 30 Minutes Or Less

Not entirely sure what all the critics are whining about.  The movie is crude, juvenile, and a little stupid, but I still think it's funnier than There's Something About Mary, and a number of romantic comedy movies so mediocre that I can't even remember their titles. 

I actually laughed out loud a few times at 30 Minutes or Less.  It wasn't as good as Zombieland, but it wasn't aweful, and the hot younger chick from Rules of Engagement is topless in it.  The ending wasn't completely horrible either.  Not bad for a summer movie.

Friday, March 11, 2011

They Let Me Buy a House

. . . well, a townhouse anyway.

Went to settlement today, and after signing and initialing about a hundred more pages, they gave me the keys to the townhouse.  I half expected to get a call from the mortgage company, having them tell me they couldn't possibly lend me the money.  It's a bit, I don't know, I guess surreal is the most appropriate word?

Now I've just got to buy a microwave, some other random kitchen stuff, a bunch of furniture, lamps, and about 10,001 other things.  And then I need to start fixing some things.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Dead Duck Joke

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."